Nigeria 2017: Scattered Sense Of Hope And Floods Of Failure By Prince Charles Dickson Ph.D

Boredom is killing me, ye eh eh
boredom is killing me, ye eh eh
pour me holy water make i find my square root

emi o s’ere
ko s’ina, ko s’omi
economy yi ti fe so mi di were

ah ah ah ah ah
on fe so mi di were
ko s’epo, ko s’owo

economy yi ti fe so mi di were, ye eh
ah ah ah ah ah
won fe so mi di were…

So the year 2017 is almost at its terminal end. For us as Nigerians, it will be difficult to say it has not been the same difference. Like the weather forecast, scattered showers here and floods here, sunny there and cold with strange winds there.

So from the very recent, are we #endingsars or sars will end us, a nationwide protest (and be informed nationwide is only Rivers, Lagos and Abuja) as with everything Nigerian we will forget the whole noise will only have near minimal impact.

It was the year of operations…from python dance to crocodile smile. For the young secessionist Nnamdi Kanu who referred to us as animals in the zoo he may not be wrong, except that he equally ran away from the zoo.

Budgets when not padded went missing in action; let us not even discuss the percentage of execution, which was a near miserable 10%.

In between the likes of Owelle Rochas Anayo of Imo state was on an, ‘erectus happilus’; erecting happiness all over his domain while salaries were left in voicemail for civil servants and pensioners groaned. His records in owing only bested by Gov. Idris the lad in charge of Kogi state. It was strange that these kind of men were those Nigerians were a-cursed with as governors who reduced governance to comedy and comic relief with their utterances and actions.

Sugbon, emi o ni je k’economy kill mi oh

ma jo, ma yo

economy no go give me heart attack oh

ma jo, ma yo

economy no go give me high blood pressure oh

ma jo, ma yo

ye ih ye eh, ye ih ye eh

ah ah ah ah ah, ma jo, ma yo

oh uh oh oh

We were continually treated to the politics of rice production but in truth Nigerians barely could put a plate of rice on their tables, at least there was tomatoes yet money was unavailable to have a rich pot of stew.

It was a 2017 of drama; one recalls the DSS versus Judges and lately EFCC versus DSS. The whole anti-graft war was largely media fought and with loads of mysterious recoveries, from Ikoyi to Kaduna the discoveries kept us busy while the economy bite hard. Very many of us were not left behind in the discovery show, I found monies totally some two thousand naira in various of my pockets and in times of need too. Not one conviction of the high and mighty thieves was gotten. Even as Saraki and his distinguished goo’s paraded the Code of Conduct bureau court.

Agitations grew, from fiscal federalism, to resource control, regionalism and then we had the war of words led by the general without rank Nnamdi Kanu and some jobless corporals on the other side. The deadlines of leave my side of the hood came and went and you could almost ask when did all that happen, as the noise died down.

Nothing dey work for naija anymore

light no dey, i for dey watch football

ai s’owo eran, lo je ki n je kpomo, yeh

odo mi n’ikun wa a, ti n ba l’o o mo o

am so blown out of my mind

am losing it, life’s staphylococcus

am losing it

boredom is killing me

killing me, ye eh

As usual NNPC wasn’t an establishment that would be left behind, whatever the figure or currency there was bound to be a billion attached to it as they regaled is with their usual jumbo scandals. The latest being the TSA-less 55bn.

We signed all sorts of bilateral and multilateral agreements all to no avail. All our diplomatic shuttles left us with even more worries, whether in Italy or the slave trade in Libya that was done with Nigerians the victims of Kinta Konta.

At home herdsmen, farmers, pastoralists or any nomenclature we used, were engaged in a seemingly one-sided war of cleansing. That raised questions with each attack than answers. No culprit was arrested and prosecuted and convicted. Counter accusations, allegations and counters. The economy and Nigerians suffered all the imbroglio of phantom Fulanis and indigenous AK47 wielding criminals.

Boredom is killing me, ye eh eh

boredom is killing me, ye eh eh

pour me holy water make i find my square root

emi o s’ere

ko s’ina, ko s’omi

economy yi ti fe so mi di were

ah ah ah ah ah

on fe so mi di were

ko s’epo, ko s’owo

economy yi ti fe so mi di were, ye eh

ah ah ah ah ah

won fe so mi di were

There were talks of billions everywhere, whether it was the River Niger Bridge or the various express roads we heard the figures we saw no new roads. As both bad roads and criminal entities fought for right to kill and maim citizenry. As the year-ends we are talking another billion to fight the Boko Haram ideology, remember we took some billions for Chinese trains and tracks. Anyway without being an unrepentant pessimist we spent billions on a few repairs at the Nnamdi Azikwe airport; in essence big men things. And it was successful!

We were engrossed with politics and religion, at different time frames, it was either we fought over which faith was in the school’s curriculum and one faith or the other cries wolf in terms of employment and sectionalism in appointment neither of which translated to progress for the group.

While Muslims were engrossed on what a supposed to be CBN Deputy Governor wore, Christians were torn on whether to pay tithe to the private jet rocking pastors. Babalawos, Ifa Priests were making brisk money from adherents of both faiths who kept on consulting.

The educational sector was not left out…strikes everywhere, from ASUU to NASU; we did the same thing over again and expected a different result. Kaduna state then exposed the shame of a nation with their ‘olodo’ teachers and as usual we debated for and against and where are we now?

It was a year filled with laughable gist that kept us engaged, from the ‘expended’ Minister for Sports or the one for Information that adduced winter for the reason for fuel shortage. While we may have qualified for the WC in Russia, we played the South Africans with their own soccer balls because ours could not be cleared at the port.

We were treated to #bringbackourpresident and that aborted Tuface protest. The government of the day like the ones before it spent more energy talking than doing.

Political masquerades everywhere, as PDP attempted rebranding, Atiku sought to articulate, and President Buhari’s body language pointed towards 2019. In a nation where we are hardly in agreement in any one issue other than maybe soccer, it remains difficult a task to get us to agree whether we made snail speed progress or we still remained stagnant or we have retrogressed—Only time will tell.

Contact the writer: pcdbooks@gmail.com

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Categories: Column, Opinion

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